RSVP - It's not difficult people

Do you remember the dim and distant past where you wrote a job application on paper and posted it to the recruiter? It wasn't that dim and distant...I did exactly that for my last role in about 2006. Actually I emailed it. BUT I did ring the recruiter to check if that would be OK and not considered rude. I was worried about sending an application letter via email without an actual pen signature on the bottom of the letter!

That was mainly because I discovered the ad on the closing date and it was to be sent to a PO Box - hard to send a courier there.

Back in the olden days (6 years ago), you would either get a phone call inviting you to interview or a monogrammed envelope...usually the first word of the second paragraph read "Unfortunately..." and that meant you were unsuccessful. But at least you knew one way or the other.

But I digress.

These days it is all about online applications...and it's kind of fiddly to be honest...I need to check all my job alerts that come in from SEEK, My Career, CareerOne, JobRapido, Linkedin and any number of other emails.

That means I have to trawl through ads that have been selected for me by a computer with no actual intellectual comprehension. I have the words "Communication" and "Communicate" in my search terms, so with the exception of roles that require you to speak with no-one at all, just about every single ad that states you must be able to communicate, and therefore I have received alerts for everything from mushroom picker to highly technical roles requiring an ability to assemble the entire NBN single handedly.

Once I have trawled through these, I need to "copy and paste" the ads into a word document for filing  and tailor my application and CV accordingly (only now I have eight of those buggers, it adds another element of confusion - will they want the one pager? The one with the picture? The interpretive dance Youtube version?)

In simple terms, I now need to go to ALOT more effort to apply for job.
Normally I get the acknowledgement from the website (eg: SEEK) to let me know that my CV has been received and passed on to the advertiser...and then.....nothing....

Most advertisers no longer bother to let you know if you haven't been successful. It's not like they couldn't have a template email prepared, with the first word of the second para still saying "Unfortunately" and just drop your name in the opening line and insert an email address. It's pure laziness.

In fact I think it would be a damned sight easier than the old days when there was complex fine motor skills involved like envelope licking and stamp sticking! It's mostly the recruitment consultants  (whose whole bloody job is placing people) who are so lazy and rude. One recruiter whose name rhymes with Dudson is especially notorious for this. I have even rung them and pointed out they have not responded, and kindly asked if they are in fact still receiving CVs via online sources and they promise the right person will ring back...but guess what? They don't.

Some of them are even so rude as to say "only successful applicants will be contacted"...I put this down to Gen Y laziness again...but I am sure then are gen Xers and boomers in the rude mix too.

Some companies get it right. These are the ones that also acknowledge the effort you put into the letter and CV. Even if I am unsuccessful, I come away with a positive perception of those companies.

This makes it sound like I have applied for a gazillion jobs. I haven't, but enough to see a pattern. Hint: The recruiters that do bother to respond are definitely the recruiters I will use once I am employed again and making recruitment decisions.

Are there other lazy things recruiters do, that really, they have no excuse for?

Work Life Balance - such a draw card for candidates...

So many roles I have seen advertised lately spruik work/life balance in the description.

Personally I suspect this is to offset the ridiculously low salaries they are offering whilst trying to lure highly experienced applicants....These applicants are usually guilt infused mothers, who will give 300% in exchange for the chance to start after school drop-off time, or the possibility to go to little Johnny's athletics carnival once a year. They will sacrifice salary for family. And I mean enormous salary sacrifice. I know some who are being paid roughly 70% of their industry average wage and still averaging around 50-60 hours per week.  As much as that makes them sound like complete mugs, I'll admit to being one of them. 

What shits me is that after you go to the effort of responding to an ad shouting the possibility of real work/life balance, you discover in reality the company has nothing of the sort in place, unless they mean you have the option to sleep at work due to the long hours they expect....or you can shag your workmates, because you'll never be home to nuture the relationship with your own partner...or there's a dry-cleaner, cafeteria or day care onsite, because that's the only way you will get your work clothes clean or see the kids and they don't encourage lunch breaks away from your desk. And handy home hint to advertisers -"Work Hard, Play Hard" is not the same as work life balance.

Now I do still naively keep my eyes open for these roles, and in my mind I would love a company that will let me start late so I can do school drop-offs and miss the horrendous peak hour traffic, and in exchange I will work later at the other end of the day as my partner can do the after-school collections. It doesn't seem unreasonable does it? 

Anecdotally I have heard from HR friends (and believe it or not I have a couple) that they know they get alot more out of working mothers exactly because we all flagellate and stress about ensuring we pull our weight at work as well as at home...apparently we demonstrate amazing multi-tasking skills.

However none of this can be raised in a job interview because it is percieved that our family is more important - which, let's face it, it is.

However, despite claims of work life balance and family friendliness,  actually raising it  in an interview is the proverbial "elephant in the room."

My last role was good for the staggered start times and being around for the kid stuff, but I did give them 100% and did take the reduced salary and mega workload...but on the whole, I would rank them higher than many for work life balance. I had a nice boss who valued his time with the kids, (his kids, not mine) and I think that helped.

Recently I responded to a "work life balance" ad, which was located absolutely miles away from where I live.

I had the telephone interview with the obligatory recruitment consultant first, and he was a lovely man. He promised to raise the later start, later finish thing with the company, who flatly refused to entertain the notion of a staggered start time.

I put a friend in touch with the company.

This friend lives close to the company and is amazingly talented at what she does.

Perfectly suited for the role. Much more than me. 

She was a shoo-in for the job, but was also sadly saddled with a child. However as it was still possible for her to start at the start time, she went for the interview and reported back the company's version of work life balance was the opportunity to join the company's triathlon team in your down-time. Strangely not her idea of work life balance. She did not pursue it any further.

**late addition to this post - she also reported they asked her if she planned to have more children...Is that even legal? I undertand the job subsequently went to a man. Probably better for their triathlon team that way**

What does work life balance in a role mean to you?

Recruitment consultants - Are they just human traffickers?

That first clumsy post that I don't want anyone to read, but need to do, in order to see if I am getting this right...


It's been almost two months that I have been actively looking for work after being made redundant, from a role I loved, in a global company, which, I suspect may not be around in a few years' time.


The thing is,  this company is loved around the world as a brand that brings comfort just to see it round the house. It reminds you of your much loved Granny, and has history. It's a brand you trust (even if it reminds you of cardigans with leather patches)...but the flip side is that it is like poison on your CV.


Despite the young and vibrant people who worked there and its innovative approach to online and iPad apps and the like, it is not seen as edgy, new or relevant. It's staid and musty to the current batch of Gen Y recruitment consultants.


Quite frankly I would probably be better to have any number of other brands or roles on my CV than my last (respectable) role ..Lehman Brothers perhaps? Or Exxon Valdez?  Campaign Manager for Bob Katter? Maybe I will add these in future and see if they work better...


In the time since I left that company I think I have seen about eight head-hunters...for the most part (with the exception of two similarly mature women with brains and a varied CVs) they are the all same...from the uber manicured nails to the complete lack of understanding  about what I do.


It's simple - I do exactly what my CV says I do. It's one of those careers that is hard to muddle up. Like Taxi Driver or Doctor.


They all ask me to promise they can exclusively represent me for any role I apply for (even if it's advertised privately), because of course my salary would attract a rather generous commission...In return, they will do absolutely sod all to generate any proactive leads for me, and putting every candidate on the books forward for the same role at the same time for listings that come in. Sounds fair eh? Hell... why not?


 Without fail, when a role comes up they all ring me and preface it with: "I know this role is a little bit left of centre..." - that means it ticks absolutely none of the boxes I want in a job, but they know I am redundant and therefore must be desperate. And after two months attempting the at home mummy thing, they may have a point.


I have had 8 different consultants tell me 8 different ways to write my CV and have even had one suggest I remove the year I did my HSC...It's not like I finished school just before Arthur Philip and his mates clambered ashore at Botany Bay. It was  exactly 200 years AFTER that point! I have a good two and a half decades of working life in me yet!


I have been told to "condense" my decades of experience into a single A4 sheet...presumably this is for the brain dead Twitter generation with ADHD after 140 characters. I have also been told to stretch it to a page per job, which equates to probably half the world's sustainable timber just to print off. So frankly I now have about eight CVs and no idea which one people prefer.

The fun thing about recruitment consultants is that they INSIST on meeting you face-to-face before putting you forward for a role. Now there's nothing wrong with that, but I live a fair way out of town, so if we can ensure I am half way suitable for a role before I schlepp into the CBD, that would be great.


Take today for example, I travelled three hours there and back for a meeting that took about 25 minutes, for an consultancy role. Now even though consultancy work is not my first choice, I am trying to be open minded about things...The recruitment lady (or rather girl) has had my CV for around 10 days...Only after I have schlepped into town did she bother to look at my CV and tell me that as I haven't worked in an consultancy for about 15 years, that may be an issue for the role she has in mind. Couldn't she have decided that before I spent $30 on tolls and parked in a car park that would cost me $49 after 30mins?? Luckily the interview was so damned short, I still got the discounted rate. She was the Twitter generation after all.


The other thing was she transcribed what I said verbatim, without bothering to process the information. After asking me about a role I left in 2003, she honestly wrote down "entered captive breeding program - 2 kids". I. Shit. You. Not.


Anyone got any bright ideas about surviving the recruitment consultant interview phase? How about new ways to present your CV?