The truth about men and women

I think we all suffer from crises of confidence, but have you ever noticed the difference between men and women at interview? Many men will go on and on about their successes and experience, even if they are inventing it along the way?

"Why sure I have written a blog on pre-menstrual syndrome. It's a subject I care deeply about. In fact it was me who diagnosed it in the first place. I am a really sensitive guy..."

Most women on the other hand are loathe to carry on like queen of the universe. They generally credit others with helping or being part of the team, even if they led the team.

Are we all just selling ourselves short, or are we just being honest?
I think a vast number of women suffer what is called Impostor Syndrome. I certainly think I do when I am at work.  I will defer to the Wikipedia definition here, to explain:  

"Despite external evidence of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be."

I raise impostor syndrome because I also have some amazingly talented female friends who suffer from it. One is a brilliant sharp lawyer, who juggles a career and four kids. Another single-handedly pulls together large national entertainment events. I am in awe of these women, but I don't think they appreciate just how amazing they are. 

Actually I think an awful lot of us suffer from Impostor Syndrome, and what's more we are completely unforgiving to our own sex, and don't recognise it in women in an interview, thinking she must have been incompetent and not a leader...or else thinking "the woman being interviewed is completely up herself" if she does flag her successes in the same way as a man.

It translates to the workplace too, where women are more willing to tear each other down than they would be if their competition was a man. It's not a game I like to play.

So what are we to do? In truth I don't have the answer, but a wonderfully wise and beautiful  woman recently told me about how to sell yourself at interviews and put it into a really simple cooking analogy, and I am keen to see how it works.

 If the interviewer asks you if you have cooked casserole, and you have only cooked porridge. Tell the interviewer that while you haven't made casserole, you are very competent at turning on the stove, peeling vegetables, adding the ingredients and stirring. In other words, show that you understand, and can do, all the components of the task they are asking about, even if you haven't done that exact task.

Men, of course, would tell you they cook cassoulet daily.

If anyone gets a chance to try this tip, please let me know how it goes. Or if you are man who has taken exception to this post or suffers impostor syndrome, I'd love to know.